Culture: Persian
Place: Roosevelt Hotel
Time: 10:00 PM
She is wearing a gorgeous blue dress. He is wearing a blue tie to match her dress. She led the way and picked up their table number. She had a ring on her finger. She is at a wedding with her fiancee'. He didn't seem too happy to be at this wedding, but he didn't seem angry either. They both sat at their table, right next to mine. They smiled at me and I waved back. She asked him to take pictures and he complied. She checked the mirror once, fixed her hair, put on lip stick and posed for the camera. He waited, not saying a word. She stood and he flashed one shot. She asked for another. He took another picture. This time she wanted him to be in the picture as well. She asked her sister to take the picture. Her sister took a picture of her and her fiancee'. He smiled, but just for the camera.
They sat back down. They were involved in a regular conversation, nothing that demonstrated huge facial expressions. She seemed happy to be at a wedding, although he was nonchalant. They ate their first entree, salad. No one talked. They has their second entree, crab cakes. No one talked. Finally the steak arrived. They both looked at their meat and cut their first piece. She looked at her fiancee' and asked if he was satisfied with his well done piece. Hers was medium rare and she offered to trade it if that would please him. He took her up on her offer and enjoyed the idea of eating a medium-rare juicy steak.
They both cleaned up their plates, and it was ready to dance. The music began to pick up its pace and she asked him to dance. He was very compliant. He got up and followed her to the dance floor. They danced to a few upbeat songs then ended with a slow dance. He gave her the look that signified he was done dancing. He went to sit down next to her sister as she kept dancing with the other girls on the dance floor. She beckoned him from the dance floor to come back, and he just shook his head and blew her a kiss. She continued dancing and they were apart for about fifteen minutes. He watched her while she danced in a crowd. She was getting along with everyone until she decided to walk back to her fiancee. They both went outside for a little air. They came in five minutes after, put their coats on and said goodbye to everyone. It was only 12:00, but they left arm in arm hugging.
A man follows the cultural norm by placing a ring on a woman's finger. By the looks of her actions, she is also following a norm by willing to tender to her fiancee's needs. She portrays this by putting her preference secondary to his needs, and willing to offer her steak to him in order to please him. I find this act to be a part of a woman's intuition, but Simone de Beauvoir would say that "Man can think of himself without woman. She can not think of herself without man" (Beauvoir 4). Beauvoir would tell her to keep her steak instead of making him feel like the essential, the "Absolute."
Furthermore, on the radical side, the man trusts his wife enough to let her dance with a large crowd. In the middle eastern tradition, this dancing is considered radical, because women are restricted from many things. Of course, the term radical changes when used in different context. As Derrida says, the signifier and signified are arbitrary and "meaning can never be fixed" (Barker 18). The context changes between different people or cultures around the world. The idea of allowing a woman to freely dance might be radical in one culture, but completely normative in another.
Capitalism plays a great role in the relationship between this engaged couple. Here we have two couples, introduced by the very clothing they are wearing. Her hair is done by a hair dresser, her make-up by a make-up artist, her ring purchased from a jeweler, and so on and so forth. Are they really in love? Do they have anything to talk about other then the steak? The only time there was real interaction was when they were dancing. Other then that there's even an artificiality in the idea of taking pictures to capture a moment in time that was neither filled with sincere laughter, nor complete pleasure. Their appearance-artificially created by material- produces this happy image that outsiders view.
In addition, the "happy couple" facade is an example of identity constantly changing. Barker writes, "We live our lives in the context of social relationships with others" (Barker 218). The man does not look like he wants to be at the wedding. She needs to put on a pretty face for the both of them. There are different roles being played: the happy couple, the fun couple, the humble wife, the permissive husband, and the dancing pair. Everyone at a wedding constructs a self that will be accepted and acknowledged by the guests around them. Not only does a bride have to look perfect, everyone does. Everyone at a wedding is a composite of many exterior things. Like Michel Foucault's "Panopticon," guests at a wedding know that everyone's eyes are on each other, therefore they all know to be on their best behavior!
Barker, Chris. Cultural Studies Theory and Practice. 3rd ed. London: Sage Publications, 2008.Print.
Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex: Woman as Other. 1949.
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